Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
