R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
