You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
A+ Viking dick
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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