Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
