My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
