AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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