Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize