no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
