Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
