Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
