I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
