Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
send nudes
from the living room?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize