about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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