Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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