Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
