soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
