Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
