She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
