So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
