Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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