Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize