Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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