just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
