i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize