there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize