i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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