do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
