he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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