this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
