He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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