the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
