Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize