I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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