My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
