I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
