oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
