I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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