The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
