I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
