I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You smell like stripper and shame
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
