I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
