I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
