You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize