Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
