i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize