I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
