so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
