So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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