Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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