O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
