I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
