I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
My pussy is not your playground.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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