I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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