Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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