Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
