I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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