therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
