She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
