I cannot find my penis.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Couch. On fire.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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