He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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