I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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