yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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