420 ftw
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
