We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
