the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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