Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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