Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
