Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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