i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
