bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
