i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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