He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
