I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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