and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
