I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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