You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she woke up with a sticky ear
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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