hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
