Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
