that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
