WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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