i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
