i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it glows. i had to have it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
