I'm jealous of your bromance
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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