Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize